bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
