I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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