I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
