She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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