Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
