Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
