just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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