I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize