Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They took my balls.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
