: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize