Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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