Sry I called you an 8
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
