sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
