Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
