he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
