She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
