"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
North Korea, Best Korea!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
