I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
