You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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