I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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