I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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