Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Even the bartender felt bad for me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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