recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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