Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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