I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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