just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Farmville is her only friend.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
