I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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