What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
