Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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