Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
