can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
