People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
foreskin is a definite game changer
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
