I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
