Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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