I am full of burrito and curiosity
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
