I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
