do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
