i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
