question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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