what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
