you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
