I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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