Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
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