Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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