that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize