so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
