so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
