I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
