last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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