fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
