i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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