You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
