Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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