he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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