the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
