come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
