Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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