I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
